Patricia Danielle

Today’s lesson: do not

EXAMPLE:

I have a car.

I do not have a car.

This lesson also includes but.

EXAMPLE:

Do you drive? Yes, but I dont have a car now.

Student practice section is to create and read these sentences:

“I like tennis, but I dont like soccer.”

“I want a dog, but I dont want a cat.”

“I have a bike, but I dont have a car.”

“I play the flute, but I dont play the guitar.”

Two parts to a sentence turns out to be TOO much. So ms. shimowada broke it down for the kids. All the “affirmative” parts went first, then the “negative” parts went next. it ended up being a completely different lesson! The first part went like this:

“I like tennis but.”

“I want a dog but.”

“I have a bike but.” (I nod at this one. It has to be true after 2 years of commuting to work by bike every day.”

“I play the flute but.”

Meanwhile, Im in the back of the class bent over in laughter. Ms Shimowada is oblivious to want is going on, as are the students. But boy, oh boy, it was a funny time!

 

someone PLEASE tell me why the girl in the slow-learners class who is nearly blind, is the one who sweeps the class during cleaning time. everyday its the same thing, the teacher showing her over and over how to sweep….where to sweep the trash to….how to use the dust pan. i think its safe to say that since its now been over a year, the best bet for proper sweeping would be to choose another student as designated “class sweeper.” it really is THAT simple.

last year there was a 9th grade boy who had a deep scar from his the corner of his mouth to his chin. for some reason, i was captivated by it. almost to the point of being jealous. one day during lunch, i asked the japanese english teacher to ask him what happened. in a country where diferences are looked-down upon, posing a student with a question about one of his obivous differences, turned out really bad. he first played it off, then he got silent, then he got pissed. when i left the room, i felt horrible. i went looking for the my english/japanese dictionary to figure out a way to tell him more than “sorry.” i never did figure it out, but things eventually blew over.

you’d think i would have learned.

last week at the end of class, the students were all standing as we finished class, and we said goodbye. i noticed a huge scar on the arm of one of the boy’s in the front row. i grabbed his arm and asked mr. ishikawa to ask him what happened. the boy just looked at me in HORROR. without asking, mr ishikawa told me that something had probably happened to him when he was younger. obniously. but i realized what he was doing. pointing out differences here is not a good thing. whereas in the states kids are told that scars show experience and character, here, that just isn’t the case. so again, i left the room feeling so… ”im the worst american english teacher in the world” feeling. darn-it!

i guess i had’nt learned.

it wouldnt be a complete elementary school visit unless someone cried. someone did. both yesterday and today, though today’s was a lot more impressive, because it was this tiny little 4th grade girl, who, kid you not, looks like a pre-schooler. she’s the cutest elementary school kid i have seen in japan.

today and yesterday i spent 3 periods teaching english at the elementary school that’s a 5 min. walk from my junior high. yesterday morning it was raining, and i was prepared to walk using an umbrella, and was content in doing so. that is, until my kyoyo sensei offered to wipe the dust off of the umbrella i was going to use. then i was pissed, because he could get off his butt to come and wipe off my umbrella (as if im a 5 yr. old and need that for some reason) but he couldnt offer me a ride to the school? i wouldn’t have taken it, i wanted to walk, but i REALLY think he should have asked. yes, I am a woman, and i am from venus. afterall, someone at the elementary school offered me a ride back because “it’s raining.” again, i didnt accept, but the offer was appreciated.

on my walk over to the school, i, excuse this expression, felt i was being “whored” out. the actual words that came to my head were, “lamb lead to the slaughter.” im so dramatic. i was just going over to the school to teach 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders fruit and animal words, but i felt so…..used. it doesnt help that my expectation was to only have 1 more elementart school visit after Spring break, and have been scheduled instead for 5! thems a lot of days with little….dirty….excited….japanese children. theres always such a mix of kids. there are the kids who are pissed they have to be there and act rude by wiping off their hand after i shake it. then there are the kids who just act silly and giggle the whole time (they are usually girls). next are the shy kids, the ones whose personality i am SUPER sure has been sucked out right after birth, along with their VOICE! there are always a few noisy boys who usually drag their friend around on the floor or hold their friend by the waist and lift him up so he can do his impression of a swimming frog. a few girls ALWAYS insist on rambling off VOLLUMES worth of japanese which i have come to the point of pretending i unsderstand, instead of hearing it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, each time with an emphasis on a different word…they seem to think that doing that makes japanese understood by 26 yr. old american english teachers. it doesnt. oh yes, and then there is always someone who cries. really…crying. over things like not getting a chair when we play fruit basket, or having to repeat yourself, or because your word wasnt called in BINGO. these are not things to cry over. i mean, i know my prizes of candy and crayons are AWESOME, but crying? yeah, they’re not worth that.

im sitting here at my desk. just minding my own. the nurse just handed me a “gift” from the principal, who went on a little vacation, and brought back food goodies for everyone. usually, i “just say no” to these gifts because, well, i usually hate whatever is inside. MOST times it is mochi. mochi is mushed up rice that becomes like paste. then, they add flavor. because EVERYBODY knows that ”flavored” rice paste is much better than just plain ol rice paste.

anyway, i  couldnt say no, because the principal is in the office. so, instead i ask what it is. “Japanese Cake.” AKA: mochi!!!!!!! Poor things think this is a comparison to cake.

i took the package of four “cakes” and smelled them. “thanks. they smell great.” not a lie…grape and peach do smell yummy! then the principal yells out “please try!” and in my head im thinking, “please don’t make me!”

one of the special ed. girls i teach, risa, is one of my favorite students in the whole school. ive been teaching her BASIC english for 2 years. NOTHING has set in other than “Oh my gosh!” and “Cleaning time.” The other day I walked into the class and said “Hello!” like usual. She responded with “Bon Jour!” BON JOUR??!! Are you kidding me? She can remember how to say hello in French, but English is out of the question? It’s the best now because every time I see her we exchange “Bon Jour’s” instead of anything in any language either of us understand!

Talk about being made overly happy by the small things in life!

I will miss Risa.

I happen to be anti-cheating. Well, at least anti-cheating in front of the teacher. You see, I think I let the students get away with most everything. And why not? There has to be one cool teacher. The one who laughs as the kids run down the hallways chasing each other, even though their NOT allowed to be running inside. The one who fills in the answers to their homework when one of the answers is left blank. The one who give hig-fives and makes silly faces. The one who gives out stickers, and toy cars, and candy, and plastic ninja guys, and pill sponges, and squishy stretchy gummy lizard party favors from america. So since someone HAS to be that teacher, why not me. The one who cant understand the language and whose job it is to “be a cultural example.” Why not me?

But when it comes to OPENLY copying in front of me, no matter what the subject, im not down “dog.” nope. i usually grab everything on the desk of those who i see copying. after a few minutes, i make them come and get it all from me, lightly slap their hand, make them say sorry, then hand them back everything with a smiling face. you see, im not against cheating all together. The good Lord KNOWS i have done my part. Its actually the “doing it right in front of me” part that gets me perterbed! i have to draw the line SOMEWHERE.

And really, this is nothing. i dont discipline at all at school. last year, i took away someones pencil case because he sat there for 20 min of class opening and shutting it. i remember my baby cousin did this with the blockbuster video tape case. WHEN SHE WAS A YEAR OLD! not 15. it took the kid 3 days to come and get it back because the japanese english teacher told him some long apology that he had to tell me in english. once he finally just came up to me at my desk, i didnt make him say anything, i just opened my drawer and handed him the pencil case. and apart from the ninja-star with the billion staples (can you say “dangerous!”) i took away a few months ago, discipling and i just dont go together. how could they really, when you are asking my to be a meanie to faces like this:

 

 

yesterday at 330pm, i was in the kendo gym, with the principals and all the other teachers, being taught self-defense using the very useful “sticks” by a police officer (who was both shorter and smaller than me).

when i first heard about the meeting, i couldnt help but just be dumbfounded. i mean, how hard is it to hold a stick and hit someone with it? im pretty sure that preschoolers in the US get in trouble for hitting other kids with sticks….but here in moka, japan, things happen a little slower, and with a lot more organization, thus, a “meeting” for proper stick-defense.

i stood in my line behind the nurse, and asked mr ishikawa “do you think this whole thing is just a little tiny bit unnecessary?” “yes. i think maybe it is.” “because i happen to think it is really really totally unnecessary.” then came his signature, ”oh, really?” YES REALLY!

through the whole 40 minutes of time in the gym, I kept going back and forth between wanting to cry and wanting to laugh. cry because i just couldnt believe the fact that i was forced to do something that i felt was so ridiculous, and laugh because it was just SO silly watching grown adults waving sticks in the air and trying to trip each other up while using it. instead of laughing or crying, i just stood watching in horror.

then i walked out to see this:

 

and i forgot about the 40 mins of wasted life and focused on the simplest of things; the sky. gosh there are just some beautiful things in this world. and some beautiful things in moka, japan. even if it is the city which will forever be known as the place where i had to endure learning how to hit people with sticks. even if!

today was the 1st fire drill of the new school year. this time though, there was no visit by the firemen. which meant that the students didnt spend an hour putting out contained fires with fire extinguishers. instead, all the students sat around listening to our principal talk about how much faster the students need to get out of the building during the next drill.

then he pointed out the things that are wrong with the way the students left the building.can you spot them? there are 2.

#1. the lights were left on in one of the classrooms. im not sure why it matters if the lights are left on, if the building is buring down, but hey, we’re shooting for perfection here, so we need to have the lights all turned off.

#2. and, this window is open. again im thinking, windows open when the fire comes raging through, is probably a good thing. dont windows blow in fire? but, lets remember the perfection thing, and be sure all of the windows are closed. personally i think it is WAY more important to get the students out of school, than toclose windows or turn off lights. but hey, thats just little ol american me.

School was funny yesterday.

There was the time when one of the 8th grade girls said she woke up at 630 and the question ms. shimowada posed to the class was “who woke up at 630? riase your hand.” no one. “who woke up BEFORE 630? raise your hand.” she and raised our hands. “who woke up AFTER 630?” one girl in the back of the class. “so. all of you didnt wake up this morning? you are all asleep?” apparently they were. they just looked at us like they were zombies. since this was 2nd period, it is ok to say that they students were, in fact, awake, and just didnt understand the question. at least we, the teachers were awake! thats something.

Then I had a boy read his diary:

“In the morning, I ate a toast.”

Well….I let him read on about the rest of his day, but deep down inside me. That junior-high school giggling girl wanted to rip through me and just laugh and laugh…”HE said A toast….hahahah!” It really wasnt that funny, but after trying to surpress the giggles, it became evern funnier. Somehow, I got a hold of myself and told him “It’s not ‘I at A toast.’ It’s ‘I ate toast.’” He nodded, crossed out the “a” on his notebook, and sat down. “A toast?” See, it’s still funny to me.

Later on in 6th period with the 7th grade class the students had to take a rapid memorization….I mean, Rapid Reading test. This all started AFTER the little tiny girl, whose name I still dont know, blew me some kisses and assured me over and over and OVER “Miss ONeal, love.” In a other circumstances, this could cause serious issues, but with miss.little 7th grader, as it has become an every-time-i-see-her occurance, I just smile and say “thank you.”

For the rapid reading test, I had to sit and listen to every other student read pages 2-17. And I had to grade each one, A, B,or C. I thought I was in serious trouble when the first girl couldnt even get through the alphabet. I gave her a “C.” And it hurt. So, as all of the other students came up for their little “test”, even the ones who struggled through, including the boy who should in front of me holding his book and SHAKING from nervousness the whole time, well, even he got an “A.” I sat there thinking about being a teacher and I wrote a note to myself to write in my blog about how “I just don’t like grading.” I don’t like it. For these kids, it’s like moving mountains to get them to talk, so their rapid reading test in English is as difficult as draining the ocean for them. For that, they all get an “A.” When Ms. Shimowada came to get the grades for the students after class, I showed her my paper where only 1 student had gotten a “C” and all the others had gotten an “A.” She looked at me for a second and then looked back to the paper and asked “There were no B’s?” “Nope. No B’s. They were all really good. Except for one of the boys who could hardly speak because he was shaking from fear. HE really deserved a “B” but after all the shaking, I couldnt very well GIVE him a B.” She just looked at me and we laughed. My oh my how my expectations for these students has changed.

Oh, while we were doing the reading test, the 3rd girl who came over to read for me, was a student I had never seen. The 69 new kids have been here since April 8th, and there are still kids that fit in the pack SO WELL, that I havent even SEEN them! This used to happen to me when I first got here. I would see a new kids every other day or so. For about the first 5 months. To me, a lot of Japanese people look REALLY similar. Im sure they think that about foreigners too. Getting by in japan with a fake ID wouldnt be hard for foreigners. Which is kind of ironic because I think getting by in america on a fake ID wouldnt be difficult for Asians.