Patricia Danielle

when i got home, i put everyones name and number into my cell phone. this time though, everyone’s cell phone number is listed under their name and then the japanese word for cell phone which is “keitai.” said: KAY-TIE. at first it was fun, but as i got further and further down my list of names and numbers to add, all the entering of all of the letters just got to be a little too much. so i began to allow the cell phone to create whatever word popped out after a few of the first letters. for this reason, i have more than just a family of numbers with the word keitai, i also have jag, and jagtag, kait, and even a friend listed under “melissa from space.” i actually met her while i was studying abroad in SPAIN, not SPACE, but whatever.

so mr. dean jag called me this morning. i think just to check up on me and make sure i am still alive. that or to get my voicemail and leave a message where he sounds disgusted as he remarks that i never answer the phone when he calls. actually, ive come to remember why he called me.

dean: “who are you bringing to my wedding?”

me: “i think im just going to be the 3rd wheel to gina and steven,”

dean: “why dont you have a boyfriend?”

now, here’s where the mental note comes in. why dont i have a boyfriend? this is a question i got a LOT in japan. along with the occational ever so popular question of:

“why arent you married?”

well….if i remember correctly, other than in creepy polygamist circles or far-away eastern lands, americans go through a process before choosing a person to spend the rest of forever with. at least, that’s how it was before i spent 2 years in japan. and i think this is still the way things go.

but how do you answer the question “why dont you have a boyfriend?” or “why arent you married?” at least to the married question i can say “because no one has asked.” but why dont i have a boyfriend? shoot i dont know. i could go through the long list about why’s, which i usually do when i am asked the question…..work….out of the country and with short skinny japanese men for 2 years. most of which had the grossest teeth EVER and look like raging beasts while eating…..then there is the fact that i am not in a hurry. and saying that is always a help. to the other person. because it is then that they like to throw in the “don’t worry. it will happen when it happens.” doesn’t EVERYTHING happen when it happens? but thats beside the point. i would like to clearly-loudly-and assuredly say “I’M NOT WORRIED!”

what i am is 26 years old. and happy. with work. with home. with friends. and with my faith.

so let me be happy. and please rest assured that i am not worried. so theres no need for you to be. because “it will happen when it happens.” of course.

i started out the week with a girl scout meeting. this meeting was special because we earned our 1st badge: playing around the world badge. we played 4 games, each from a different country. an hour later, a bagde was earned. oh, that and i got a few little kid hugs good-bye. it was lovely.

tuesday brought a 12 hour day of work. no better way of ending such a day but hitting up 90 minutes of a 105 degree room to do yoga. that and a call to mom and dad.

i took my first day of vacation on wednesday to spend with shannon. shes here for a month or so from kentucky. it was so much fun to spend a day being girlie…..target…..shopping…..candy…..yummy food for lunch…..the movies…..a drive to pasadena…..tapas and jazzy spanish music….more time with friends…and lots of great music.

after a day of interviews on thursday and a decision to hire2 of the candidates, i convinced shannon to experience yoga with me. i LOVE yoga….when its OVER….because while it is going on, im calling the instructor names in my head. bad names.

today was FINALLY friday. i had to participate in a company audit on compliance first thing this morning. i aced it. 100%. i spent the rest of the day trying to figure out another aspect of being a manager: the hiring process. references and background checks and applications OH MY.

and now the weekend. and one with 3 days at that. though ive turned saturday into a day formake-up work, and sun is for churhc, and monday for an 8pm showing of “the real abe lincoln” on the history channel at grandma’s house!

if i never have to pull a dead bunny out of a cage and throw it away again, it will be too soon.

nothing like a spectacular make-out session to help me forget about the 22 yr. old boy crush.

plus…..i think mr. crush boy is better left to marinate for a few more years.

yeah…..a few more years should do a crush good.

this is the explanation i got from jason the other night about religion. 

i have had one too many cute mormon boy experiences. thats for sure. so many so that i had to send out a warning to all of my friends to “not let me date ANY more mormon boys.” so far so good.

well, that is until the other night with jason. jason is the older brother. and its hard not to look at him as such. though, by the end of the night, my perception of him had done a bit of changing.

its been quite a long while since i have been out with someone who filled my 3 boy requirements:

1. kind

2. personality

3. attraction

jason just happens to meets all 3. maybe thats why his mom always mentions him to me when i tell her that i’m not dating anyone. along with those 3 qualities, he also has the quality on the top of the do-not want list as well:

1. someone of different faith

so…..here i sit, with a clearly defined line of what can and cant be. and the reality is that 2 plus 2 should equal 4, but god has said that 1 plus 1, with him, equals 1. and though it extends past logic, and into the faith realm of believing, i choose to do so. i choose to believe.

well. ive figured out what the sole purpose of being a manager is. it can be wrapped up in 3 words.

1. meetings.

2. teleconferences.

3. listening.

I have spent more time today listening to different random people from every department, come in and talk and talk and talk and talk, than i have spent time doing anything else combined.  its not always the same people, but i know once someone comes in and closes the door behind them, that im going to be there awhile. and longer than awhile it usually is.

This is something I am learning to be ok with. With most things, i like to wrap it up quickly. i am probably the quickest person in the world to get off the phone with. i mean, why drag it out, if its necessary (and sometimes even when its not) you can just call right back.

But in the life of manager…one must smile and nod. listen and share. encourage and influence. and most of all, learn and ask.

you know those times when you are just surprised? totally caught in a “what the heck just happened” moment? well. i had at least 2 of those today. and my head is still spinning. with thoughts. with analyzing. with questions.

i found out that someone pretty close to me got married over the christmas break. what a shocker. it brings to mind all those other boys in my life who have gotten married. all those boys who i am no longer friends with. im 26 now. past that point of classifying things like this as part of “growing up”, though im sure some would disagree. i hate losing friends, im too loyal for that. if i could, i would go back and find april graves, my best friend in 3rd grade, or skye frome, my best friend in 4th and 5th grade. or what about angela ogle? last spring, while i was in japan, i found her mom’s address somewhere on-line and sent her a “remember me?” letter. apparently she didnt, considering i never heard back from her.

and the other “shocker” of the day. i cant even begin to GO there. what a mess. but thanks to marin for helping talk me through it when really, all i wanted to do was wake my mom up from her 12am sleep. darn the atlantic ocean.

and there is also that thing sliding around inside my head that i know can happen, but doesnt. and that other thing that cant happen, and wont.

thank goodness tomorrow is january 4th. dates seem to be directing my future.

august 1st, october 15th, december 5th, january 4th, january 6th, january 12th, may 16th…the dates go on and on. just like the surprising news. on and on.