teary morning
i arrived at school this morning with tears running down my cheeks. it just so happens that the tire which my vice principal “fixed” last week, finally gave out and went flat this morning, making for an impossible ride to school. my options were limited since i have no pump at my house, and the bike shop i am supposed to go to is closed in the mornings. i had to ride to school, even if i was going to be late.
i set my bike to the lowest gear and pedaled hard for about 30 minutes, feeling all the uneveness in the road and every bump along the way. the whole time, i kept thinking how unhappy i was. “way to focus on the problem” i know. half-way to school, the tears started and when i finally got to school, ms. shimowada was the first person i saw out by the bike racks. she asked what was wrong and i started in.
“im too old for this. everything is just so difficult. riding a bike to school with a flat tire because i cant go to the bike shop because it is closed in the mornings, that makes no sense. and now its the end of april and temperatures here are still so cold. what is going on? i just want to go home.”
“i understand. the last school i worked at, i thought the same thing every morning. before i got to school, i always wanted to turn around and go home. is there anything i can do? i cant do anything about the weather, but i can help tell vice principal about your bike.”
“no. its ok. i will go tell him right now. ill be ok. everything will be ok.” i walked away and went into the locker-room to get out the rest of the tears before proceeding with my day.
at lunch, i went into the teachers room and apologized to ms shimowada.
“im sorry im so dramatic. it was just a bicycle tire.”
“that’s ok. coming to school on a bicycle is miserable. you miss your friends and family and things here are so difficult for you.”
then, during 5th period as i went around the teachers room looking for white-out, i asked ms shimowada if she had some.
“i have some, but im not good at working it.” she was talking about the kind that is in tape-form.
once she found it in her desk, she tried to wind it up and get it to work. then i tried. then she took it back and tried again.
“see what i mean? everything is so difficult.”
“i know. i am very worried that you are going to be sad again. you are having an unlucky day.”
“that’s for sure.”
“maybe tomorrow will be a lucky day!”
“it better be because i cant take much more of this.”
and you know, just to add to the “unluckiness of the day”, maybe 10 minutes later, a thunder storm rolled in and rain fell in what looked like, solid sheets. turns out i could take more. a lot lot more.
